Choose To Be Happy and
Overcome Negative Emotions

Effective self-help methods to cope with anxiety, anger, and depression

Choose To Be Happy and Overcome Negative Emotions 
such as anxiety, anger, or depression

Tom G. Stevens PhD

EMOTIONAL COPING INFORMATION

The primary negative emotions are anxiety (stress, nervousness, fear, etc), anger (frustration, resentment, irritation, etc.), and depression (unhappiness, sad, grief, "tired", low-motivation, etc.). They are the opposite of the main positive emotion, happiness (joy, excitement, contentment, peace, etc.)

Many people believe that they cannot control their emotions.  They believe that (1) their environment (other people, stressors, negative events, bad luck, fate, etc.) or (2) their genes cause them to feel negative emotions more than other people do.

It is true that environment and biology are powerful factors that cause TENDENCIES to feel certain emotions.  However, it is possible to develop powerful internal coping mechanisms that can greatly effect your emotional reactions  and can overcome those tendencies.  The CARES self-assessment will give you feedback about your various internal factors that can give you more or less control of your emotions.  These factors include

• The nature of your top values and goals (e.g. Valuing life, love, health, happiness, achievement, truth, knowledge, growth, beauty, inclusiveness, for all people versus contradictory values)

• The nature of your key beliefs (e. g. healthy life affirming beliefs versus dysfunctional, negative beliefs)

• Your self-esteem and self-confidence

• Your nature and strength of your greatest fears 

• The positiveness and comprehensiveness of your world view

• The amount of gratitude for what you have versus feeling resentful for what you don't have (feeling like a victim).

• Your degree of your Internal versus External Control

• Your emotional coping habits and skills (what you think and do when you get upset)

• Self-Management and Interpersonal Skills

• Etc.

Return to Index

Coping with Negative Emotions and Finding Happiness
The references for help finding happiness and overcoming the primary negative emotions is spread between many pages on this website.  Start your quest for help by clicking on the pages referred to on this site, depending on what your primary focus is. Or better yet, take the SHAQ CARES self-assessment questionnaire on this website to help you diagnose the main causes of your negative emotions.  They may be factors such as lack of meaning/life goals, self-esteem, relationship problems, or general coping methods for dealing with negative emotions.

To find  the causes of your negative emotions,
take the SHAQ questionnaire (research has supported SHAQ's effectiveness).
Click here to take the SHAQ CARES self-assessment questionnaire on this website 

Learn How You Can Choose To Be Happy, and "Rise Above" difficult circumstances and negative feelings:

To read more about How to be Happy and focus on a increasing the positive emotions (in addition to focusing on overcoming negative emotions),

1. For an introduction to how to be happy,  or to begin a complete program to get control of your emotions and life,
Go to: www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/h11intro.htm

2. To read about routes to happiness and how others have overcome the worst of circumstances,
Go to: www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/h21choic.htm

3. To read about the underlying causes of both positive and negative emotions,
Go to: www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/h71what.htm

4. To read  how you can increase the positiveness of your world view and thinking,
Go to: www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/h41model.htm

5. To read how to increase your self-esteem and self-confidence,
Go to: www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/h51worth.htm

6. To read how you can increase your autonomy and reduce the negative feelings from relationships with others,
Go to: www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/h61asses.htm

7. To read how you can improve your self-management skills to become better organized, reduce time and task stress, and become more successful in meeting your goals and getting what you want in life,
Go to: www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/h91value.htm

8. To read how you can explore yourself to discover the inner causes of unhappiness, conflict, and other negative emotions,
Go to: www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/h23explo.htm

9. To see the CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY CHECKLIST--a summary of the major factors you need to be happy,
Go to: Go to: www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/hhapchkl.htm

To start with help on a specific emotion, follow one of the links below.

For help with ANXIETY and STRESS click here

For help with ANGER and AGGRESSION click here

For help with UNHAPPINESS and DEPRESSION click here

For learning how to be HAPPIER click here

Return to Index

OTHER INTERNET LINKS 

Also, links to general psychological self-help provide many ideas for dealing with negative emotions:
General psychological self-help information.

Self-Help and other resources on this website (and site map)